Viral Meningitis Got Pitt Down

I was going to write a story with the above title for Yodelling Llama--the satire site, not the blog--with a bunch of Ween and Brad Pitt jokes. I was borderline inspired to do so while reading an IMDb celebrity news item about Pitt's illness. But then I realized I wouldn't be able to squeeze out much there. So I'm writing this metastory for your reading pleasure. And listening to White Pepper's wonderfully out-of-tune "Ice Castles" while I'm doing it.