Your Band Sucks and Monkey Throw Feces.

One of the more amusing music critics I've stumbled upon is Dr. David Thorpe, the author of Something Awful's "Your Band Sucks" column. He has a regular feature called "The Demo Roundup." So I sent in Monkey Throw Feces' "The Meatball Song." And it is in the lastest article. We are absolutely despised by the good doctor. To the point where he actually mentions MTF in a negative light in other reviews. Enjoy.

New story.

Ex-Marine's Discharge Yellow, Honorable.

Islamic extremism.

Headline in my morning paper: "Blair warns of 'evil ideology' of Islamic extremism."

The one complaint I've heard most often from the hawks about the doves is that the doves waste their time trying to "understand" the enemy. "What do we care why they did it? Let's focus our efforts on stopping them from doing it again," I'll hear. Personally, I think understanding the enemy is a vital part of preventing repeats, but that opinion often falls on deaf ears.

But here's where the hypocrisy comes in. The hawks don't want you to tell them anything about the motivations of, say, the 9/11 terrorists when those motivations end up being an indictment of our side. "The 9/11 terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in retaliation for American support of oppressive, dictatorial regimes in Muslim lands" or "the 9/11 terrorists attacked the Pentagon because they were desperate in the face of extreme poverty, perpetuated by American trade practices" are rejected immediately, regardless of whether they contain any truth.

But when the indictments are of the other side, hawks are perfectly comfortable playing the armchair psychologist. "The 9/11 terrorists hijacked those planes because they were insane" or "the 9/11 terrorists aimed for the White House because a branch of Islam told them to."

If were going to completely ignore motivations, let's be consistent about it. No more references to the terrorists "hating our freedoms." No more references to their wanting to frighten us. No more references to their wanting to divide us. Certainly no more references to their religious beliefs.

If Blair would stop referring to those who perpetrated the London bombings of July 7th as "Islamic extremists," he wouldn't have to keep explaining how most Islamic people don't support terrorism. Blair could keep it simple: "there is this group of people who is responsible for the attacks. We don't know precisely why they attacked us. We don't care. We're going to catch them. That is all."

But that isn't very satisfying, is it?

Craig Richard Nelson.

I posted something about Craig Richard Nelson being very Philip Seymour Hoffman in the Paper Chase on an IMDb message board back in February 2004. About a year later, some cat responded who claimed to be Craig Richard Nelson. Which exhibits the glory of the Internet. The Internet allows people to keep tabs on what others say about them. And the Internet allows people to more easily pretend to be something they are not. Doesn't really matter, I suppose; either way, I'm pleased.

Another new story.

Local Woman Gets Down Off Soapbox, Builds Racer.

Viral Meningitis Got Pitt Down

I was going to write a story with the above title for Yodelling Llama--the satire site, not the blog--with a bunch of Ween and Brad Pitt jokes. I was borderline inspired to do so while reading an IMDb celebrity news item about Pitt's illness. But then I realized I wouldn't be able to squeeze out much there. So I'm writing this metastory for your reading pleasure. And listening to White Pepper's wonderfully out-of-tune "Ice Castles" while I'm doing it.

New story.

London Bombing Death Toll Rises to 53.

Book club.

I have written before about the book club in which I am a member. And I am, with this post, writing about it again.

We're starting the next Harry Potter book just as soon as we can get copies in hand. For anyone interested, check out the book club's message board.

London calling.

Today's bombings in London really bothered me. More so than the explosions that have killed thousands in Iraq since someone had the bright idea of creating another anarchist state. Why?

I can't imagine my history with Transportation Alternatives would have tipped the scales. I couldn't possibly be so shallow as to increase the impact of an event based on a mass transit system's involvement. Could I?

I suppose it could simply be a latent--or not so latent--racist tendency to value Anglo lives more than Arabs.

But I think what really bothered me about the London bombings was the indiscriminate targeting.

Let's say you've got this guy whose wife is really bugging him. It is bad when he hits her. She didn't deserve it. But how much worse is it when he goes out in the street pissed off and hits a total stranger? At least the wife was involved.

The terrorists who target police stations and military camps and ambassadors from Egypt are not exactly my favorite people. But they'll win the C. Raymond Taylor Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence compared to those guys who don't even bother to figure out who they are mad at. Or tell anyone why they're mad.

I usually respect laziness; there's a certain ethos there that occasionally brings a "Yay Plucky!" moment to fruition. But laziness and violence don't mix.

The Sun.

The sun is just a nuclear weapon that hasn't finished killing us yet. The sun is a mass of incandescent gas.

New story.

Law Professor Alfred Yankovic Pens Outkast Parody.